The Groom Came Out at the Wedding

Can we even tell this story? Should we? Well we are....People's jaws always drop when we tell this particular day in the life of a Wedding Vendor. The groom announced he had made a mistake and was in fact gay, but it was how he did it that made this story even more jaw dropping.

Let's back up for a minute so you get a better view so you don't think we are just trying to throw this couple under the bus. Hi, we are group of hospitality professionals who truly love our jobs and work crazy hard hours to make sure our guests are over the moon happy. I myself clocked 40,000 steps just last Sunday on the third day of a 330 person three day wedding.

Here is the unfortunate truth: we are as planners and vendors what my mom would refer too as 'furniture'. She once said this to me after telling her of some client who had treated us quite badly, "My darling you are just furniture to them." In my early days of planning I preferred to refer to us as 'The secret service of your wedding day.' What does that mean? That means we are there only to serve you, we don't get hungry, we don't get tired, and we are seen and not heard especially when you are with your guests. Now we are in the post covid wedding world which made us being furniture ALL the more evident. Examples you ask? We have plenty of those and they started the moment the world was about to shut down which trigger a title wave of chaos through the world, and I mean the wedding world.

Let's travel back to March 14th 2020 - prime Florida Wedding Season and the last night any of us would be able to socialize or feel 'normal' for a while. We had a big wedding at the Brazilian Court Hotel and as the world was shutting down, every bride around the globe could be heard saying 'But can I still have my wedding?'

Understandably this was a very stressful moment for the bride, groom and their families. But as a world wide pandemic was breaking out, what about the people who had no choice but to work these events?

What I remember so vividly was a moment the day before the wedding. I was 1200 miles away from my family and my partner. My family and loved ones were really worried and scared for me, and all I was concerned about was will this wedding happen and will the bride and groom get the day they have dreamed of? I realize this sounds crazy but it was true until the next thing happened. We were scheduled to have a call with the hotel owner, event manager, chef, mother and father of the bride and of course bride and groom. As we talked through the options the last thing the father of the bride asked was,

"let's go around the call and make sure everyone feels comfortable going forward with the wedding." They asked the owner, the chef, the event manager and the bride and the groom, they never even considered asking me how I felt about running the wedding. As we all hung up, at that moment I thought, 'what about how I feel about doing the wedding and if something happens to me are you going to be the one to call my mother?' As the planner I have the most hands in everything. I remember the WHO at that time was suggesting to limit your contact with surfaces shared by others. I counted 14 doorknobs that I had to touch hundreds of times that day. I realized at that moment that the choice of putting my profession ahead of my health was over.

I would like to point out that this particular group were very warm and kind so I do not think it was intentional. I believe, as I have experienced this many times, that when people are in the throws of planning and paying for a wedding, they are not always thinking the way they normal would. In fact I often say people planning a wedding, even the most normal peoples become obducted by some alien 'wedding planning' creature that can make even the most grounded, down to earth normal person a total psycho wedding planning zombie.

Back to the groom who came out, but that will have to wait for the next entry!